


Word on the Street

by AtlinMerrick



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Prompts Welcome, Slice of Life, Stories inspired by things I've literally heard on the street, the rating may change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 05:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlinMerrick/pseuds/AtlinMerrick
Summary: Small John and Sherlock stories inspired by things literally heard from strangers passing on the street…





	Word on the Street

"They don't exist John."

"They do."

"They don't."

"Yes, yes they _do."_

"Saying a thing doesn't make it true."

"'I bought the milk John, I'm sure I did.' _You_ say it and yet—"

"That's different!"

"That's not dif—look, no. I'm not going to argue."

John Watson was not going to argue. Not now. About this. John _will_ argue. Daily. About absolutely anything. Maybe it exercises some gland inside him. Or purges toxins. Arguing is to a Watson what deduction is to a consulting detective.

Which is to say that John Watson has argued with a barista about which of his own feet is larger (the left). He's argued with Angelo about where mistletoe should be placed (not over the men's toilet, not ever). John has argued with Sherlock about whether Sherlock's penis should have its own name ('absolutely not John').

So yes, the good doctor Watson is fine with arguing for any reason at all ever, but about this particular thing he will not bicker, squabble, or row because there _is_ an ice cream mafia, and he does not need something as petty as proof to know that it is true.

When you have purchased the most perfect ice cream that you've ever had _ever,_ when you have adored it like a beloved, when you have been so passionate that you wrote the company a letter, signing your rank, including your medical degree, and putting in your URL just in case even _one_ of these would impress them to continue their 'limited time treat' and then they discontinued the fucking thing _anyway?_

Yes, well, the clear solution is that there's an ice cream mafia and they're running a racket.

Now, Captain John Watson, MD, of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers and johnwatsonblog.co.uk, doesn't have one fucking clue what sort of scam they may be going for but he's as sure there is one as he is that in his head he calls Sherlock's penis Little Sherlock. And screw whether that's 'infantile behaviour.'

"Look, all I know," John Watson said, standing in front of a Tesco cold case, searching for his longed-for treat, "is that the person who wrote me that letter sounded under duress."

Sherlock turned his head to the right so he could roll his eyes undetected.

"Don't roll your eyes at me mister. The CEO specifically wrote 'I wish more than anything we could keep making them but I'm afraid my hands are tied." Tell me _that _doesn't sound suspicious."

Sherlock opened his mouth to insist he hadn't rolled his eyes at John—who was standing to his left and he'd specifically rolled his eyes to his right—but he never got the chance.

"Holy shit! It's creme egg ice cream!"

It is only by virtue of his agility that Sherlock missed getting a cold case door handle to the gut. For creme egg he'd have accepted plate glass to the face.

"Let's get them all John."

"That's what I'm talking about. Let the ice cream mafia take _this_ out too. Ha!"

There are, to this day, ten pints of creme egg ice cream shoved in beside the body parts in Sherlock's freezer. They got sick of it after the fourth pint, and tried to give the rest away.

Yeah, well, it's been three years since their introduction and the company is still making it.

"—yeah well that doesn't prove anything Sherlock."

"Proof _is _the proof John!"

"Look, I'm not going to argue with you but—"

John argued with him.

—  
_The ice cream John's lamenting is Magnum's 25th-anniversary-celebration [champagne](https://kevssnackreviews.blogspot.com/2014/01/magnum-marc-de-champagne-silver-coated-ice-cream.html) ice cream, briefly made in 2014. They were silver. They were lovely. This new series will be inspired by words I hear on the street—or ones you do!—like when men and Anarion (who wrote twice for this, once for [Sherlock](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21121346), and once for [Good Omens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818664/chapters/50155133)) heard "ice cream mafia" from a passing stranger. P.S. Happiest of birthdays Secret Scribbler!  
_


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